I recently took the MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator) and broke the test. The women who administered the assessment said she had never seen a more balanced or adaptable person, ( I don’t think this is true. I have just had a crazy life. ) I scored right down the middle with almost equal scores in every category. I have no type. However, when it comes to talking about my man’s cancer I seem to be an extravert.
When we arrived home from the doctor after hearing the diagnosis; exhausted and emotionally spent, I had to immediately write my family an email. My man was ready to take a break from cancer, but I needed to get it out.
I was also in a rush to tell our children. We spent a lot of time thinking about what to say and working ourselves up and they really weren’t that interested. I can’t blame them they are only 6 & 4. My man told me I had to lead, so just finding a time when I felt strong enough not to cry was a challenge. I made it through.
We told them that papa has a tumor filled with bad cells that have to be killed. That the doctors will shoot the bad cells with radiation and then remove it surgically. Our 4 year old son wanted to know if he could shoot the cells and our 6 year old daughter didn’t want to talk about it. We used these guidelines.
I wrote my daughter’s teacher a note and told my son’s. I have inappropriately blurted it out at the playground, and broke down at the hairdresser, (so now the whole town probably knows.) It seems so strange to talk to people and not mention it and also inappropriate to constantly mention it. I have received a lot of support as a consequence and have been told that I am brave and courageous and present for my children. Phew, I am so glad I am giving that impression to the world, at least today.