I woke up with a nervous stomach. Monday- back to reality and back to cancer. My man was dreading going back to work.  He said this was nothing new, but I think it is. Work means radiation and a reminder of  everything. He called from work a bit ago, the Dana Farber doctor called the local doctor and let us know that it is not Ewings Sarcoma. They are still doing some tests to rule out rhabdomyosarcoma. We argued a bit about which sarcomas are responsive to chemo- the radiation oncologist here implied that only Ewings sarcoma responds to chemo but my very thorough notes from our meeting at DF say Rhabdomyosarcoma too. More grey area that will need to be checked.

My man is also nervous again about taking these R-Blend vitamins. He isn’t satisfied with  the information the naturopath is giving him. My gut says he should talk to the radiation oncologist about it.  It is important that he knows. But my husband’s argument is, “why tell him if he will only say don’t take them.” I will try and find some patient testimonials to ease our minds. We are also confused as to when the actual surgery will take place. If last radiation treatment is July 8th and he should wait a month then we are talking beginning-mid august. But we were told end of August. We have family visits and yard sales to plan.  In all these little ways cancer is back on the front burner this Monday.

But the sun is out again after an incredibly rainy weekend. The kids and I walked down to the lake just to “check things out.” Even on the stillest day there can be a ferocious wind tunnel at the lake. Today was like a tornado. I sat and watched the kiddos play Hades lair versus Superhero in the wind. I taught an exercise class after a 2 week hiatus. I thought about home improvements I want to undertake and continued to de clutter my man’s office, (we attacked  two junk filled closets this weekend and we are on a roll. It is extremely therapeutic.) My man never used to call me from work- we never did the ‘check in’. Now we do, I like it. This morning I noticed that my man had eaten the last banana leaving me none for my smoothie. BC I could have been pissed about this all day, today I hardly minded at all.


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