Today is the last day of summer. The local public school begins tomorrow and our daughter will enter the 2nd grade. Our house is a disaster, every single room needs to be tidied up- laundry-toys-clothes-dishes. I have been ignoring it for days. I haven’t completed her back to school paperwork- I will put it in her backpack-and hopefully I can scrounge something together for her lunch. I am totally unprepared for life to begin again.
My boss emailed me today gently reminding me of upcoming schedules and offering me more hours and a raise. This transition seems like a bigger and harder one and I am tired of trying to figure out why. It is sort of amusing. Today I imagined a mini version of me sitting in a branch looking down: “what is going on down there?” it would ask, “what are you up to?” I am full of ideas and impulses but they don’t take hold-nothing is getting done. I am disconnected from my life.
That was yesterday- today school has begun- the cleaning lady came- I went to the grocery store- but I am still unsettled: haven’t found my new normal yet and obviously the old one just won’t do. But enough whining.