2nd to last weekend

We are off t o Boston this afternoon for our day long pre-op saga. The second to last weekend before surgery is almost over and I am not sure my man accomplished much on his list but so far no complaints. We had our daughter’s birthday party- it was a great success, and my husband and I high fived it as the last of the guests walked out the door. It was mellow/low key with side walk chalk and freeze dancing as the main attractions. I even forgot to give out the party favors and no one seemed to notice.

Then the kids and I went to the lake and my husband joined us there after three trips to the dumps (yes, more than 1 dump.). I love that going to the dump is on my man’s pre-op list of things that must be done. It wouldn’t be on mine, I can tell you that.

As we get closer to surgery and these appointments tomorrow I am in my head less. I am here with my family enjoying this time. If I stand back and look at myself and our lives I am pleasantly surprised. I thought I would be paralyzed with fear and emotion:completely wrapped up in it and unable to move. Am I in denial, am I just an amazing person, is it not such a big deal? I don’t often trust my strength these days but I do admire it. ┬áMy inside self looks out sees all that my outside self is doing and says, “well. if she can do that so can I.” And so can my man- three cheers for him.

I continue to try and find out more about the ins and outs of a major surgery and hopefully many of our questions will be answered tomorrow. My husband and I are at two ends of a spectrum: he expects the worst and I the best. The doctors said 6 weeks recovery. I think that is a generous estimate and that he will be feeling well after 3 weeks. My husband on the other hand probably imagines himself rising fully healed on day 42- he takes things very literally. The reality probably lies somewhere in between.

I had a little freak out last night as I imagined the morning of surgery and the moment when I will have to say goodbye to my man and wander the streets of Boston while they cut into him, yikes!! “I feel like I am handing him over to strangers,” I told a friend. “Well, at least they are strangers who know what they are doing,” she reassured me. I hope I like the surgeon a bit more tomorrow. I want to ask him to take particularly good care of my man- “this guy is really important- so do your best work.” Corny I know, but it seems like something has to be said.

Here are a few glimpses of our day yesterday.

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