We are off t o Boston this afternoon for our day long pre-op saga. The second to last weekend before surgery is almost over and I am not sure my man accomplished much on his list but so far no complaints. We had our daughter’s birthday party- it was a great success, and my husband and I high fived it as the last of the guests walked out the door. It was mellow/low key with side walk chalk and freeze dancing as the main attractions. I even forgot to give out the party favors and no one seemed to notice.
Then the kids and I went to the lake and my husband joined us there after three trips to the dumps (yes, more than 1 dump.). I love that going to the dump is on my man’s pre-op list of things that must be done. It wouldn’t be on mine, I can tell you that.
As we get closer to surgery and these appointments tomorrow I am in my head less. I am here with my family enjoying this time. If I stand back and look at myself and our lives I am pleasantly surprised. I thought I would be paralyzed with fear and emotion:completely wrapped up in it and unable to move. Am I in denial, am I just an amazing person, is it not such a big deal? I don’t often trust my strength these days but I do admire it. My inside self looks out sees all that my outside self is doing and says, “well. if she can do that so can I.” And so can my man- three cheers for him.
I continue to try and find out more about the ins and outs of a major surgery and hopefully many of our questions will be answered tomorrow. My husband and I are at two ends of a spectrum: he expects the worst and I the best. The doctors said 6 weeks recovery. I think that is a generous estimate and that he will be feeling well after 3 weeks. My husband on the other hand probably imagines himself rising fully healed on day 42- he takes things very literally. The reality probably lies somewhere in between.
I had a little freak out last night as I imagined the morning of surgery and the moment when I will have to say goodbye to my man and wander the streets of Boston while they cut into him, yikes!! “I feel like I am handing him over to strangers,” I told a friend. “Well, at least they are strangers who know what they are doing,” she reassured me. I hope I like the surgeon a bit more tomorrow. I want to ask him to take particularly good care of my man- “this guy is really important- so do your best work.” Corny I know, but it seems like something has to be said.
Here are a few glimpses of our day yesterday.