It is what it is

It is what it is, an expression made for cancer. My man has cancer and we have to live with it. A scary and dangerous cancer, a cancer with a 30-50% chance of recurrence- I prefer to flip this and say a 50-70% chance of not coming back. Statistics are so frightening-after hearing this one we could hardly get through the days. But now 4 days later, we are living with it. It is what it is!

Yesterday, I went to a local festival with my daughter listened to rock music and enjoyed the sunshine. In one hour our girl learned to ride a bike without training wheels.  We all went to a BBQ at a friend’s house and socialized like normal people. I folded laundry, I went to the grocery store etc. etc. normal life.

On the other hand I never interpreted most rock music lyrics as being about death before. Folding my husband’s laundry makes me very sad as my morbid mind wanders to the possibility of his clothing being all that is left.   I am sure that when we left the BBQ the elephant that had been in the corner all night was finally discussed by the remaining guests. The cancer family- unbelievable that this is us.

It seems there are three possibilities here: my husband will die from this cancer, he won’t- and it will never come back, or we will live with this cancer as a chronic disease- dealing with it as it pops up every few years. An “it is what it is” situation if I ever did hear of one. I found this article today and it opened my eyes to this third possibility- the chronic disease that we have to learn with.


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