I met a woman the other day whose husband also has cancer and is also a patient at Dana Farber. We sat there nonchalantly swapping stories as easily as if we were swapping recipes. Her husband has been battling Lymphoma for three years and is in the midst of his third recurrence. “People always tell me to count my blessings,” she added, “but sometimes you have to mourn your losses.” I told her of my man’s sarcoma, his treatment to date, and the years of scans to come. “It has a high rate of recurrence,” I explained. She smiled, ” I read about Sarcoma the other day, I didn’t want to be the first to tell you that.”
Oh don’t worry, we know. We know about the shitty statistics- we know and we are OK, (what else can we be). I have counted my blessings and mourned my losses all very publicly here on these pages. But if you haven’t noticed I have had less of an urge/need to write lately. I am no longer freaked out all of the time. I am not even freaked out that I’m not freaked out. In the words of my new favorite band: “sometimes I can’t believe it, I’m moving past the feelings.”
I wanted to officially explain my absence from this space. It has helped me immensely over the last six months and I am sure I will be back now and again. But cancer is taking a back seat these days and I’m gonna let it.
I will update after December 14th to hopefully share some news of NED (no evidence of disease.) Thanks for reading/listening and happy Thanksgiving.